Tag: cancer

Day 322/365 This Wild and Precious Life

As many of you know, my family has been taking the same spring trip together for over twenty years. If you have been an avid reader of this blog, you may have, in a sense, taken the trip with us last year. Coming just five months after my father’s death, it was hard. I tearfully joked that I felt we should have purchased an … Read More Day 322/365 This Wild and Precious Life

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Day 294/365 (You Don’t Have To) Do It Yourself (This Time)

When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, she was caught completely by surprise. She had not felt the least bit ill. It was odd explaining to my daughters that their Nana is sick. She certainly didn’t look sick. As time went on, the chemo treatments did what the cancer had not – they made her feel incredibly ill. It’s surreal, watching the nurses don … Read More Day 294/365 (You Don’t Have To) Do It Yourself (This Time)

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Day 287/365 F*ck That

I knew she was feeling better when she sweetly suggested I put a sign outside her door telling the priest making rounds to Fuck Off. I howled laughing. You have to understand, this is a woman who didn’t give herself permission to curse in front of me until I was about 40 years old. I still find her use of the word “fuck” entirely … Read More Day 287/365 F*ck That

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Day 280/365 The Wind (A Flashback)

Early morning, September 22, 2017… Standing on my front porch with a warm cup of coffee between my palms, I assess the damage. Strong winds from a tropical storm off the coast have been lingering for days. The street is littered with small branches, and leaves torn prematurely from the trees. Trash cans are overturned in the street. “Distress is the wind spirit of … Read More Day 280/365 The Wind (A Flashback)

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Day 279/365 Recline, then Bloom

Maybe it’s because she’s always hated reclining chairs. My mother has impeccable taste, both in her home and on her person. Owning a reclining chair was, for many years, tantamount to wearing sweatpants… It’s just something she would never do. I’m not really sure how the (very tasteful) recliner ended up in my parents’ den, but I imagine it had something to do with … Read More Day 279/365 Recline, then Bloom

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Day 256/365 How We Got Here

Mom and I are having our weekly date at the infusion center. I thought today I would write about how we ended up here. Maybe it’ll impact someone. In the summer of 2016 I had a mammogram. Shortly afterward I received a letter from Newport Hospital, stating that while nothing had come up on the images, because of my “dense breasts” they could not guarantee … Read More Day 256/365 How We Got Here

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Day 253/365 No Words

Chemotherapy is the oddest thing. My mother didn’t feel the slightest bit sick until they started trying to cure her…until they started pumping her with poison to make her well. I spend time with her almost every day, but sometimes (more and more often) I don’t know what to say… Everything I say seems wrong. If I am happily talking about things I’ve done … Read More Day 253/365 No Words

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Day 238/365 The Elephant Revealed

“…and so I start chemo next week,” she said, exhaling. My heart started racing the moment she told me I should sit down. Then it all became a blur of words like “tumors” and “biopsies”.  I struggled to bring this information into focus – to process what she was saying. She has cancer. She’d known for a month. She’d gone to all the tests … Read More Day 238/365 The Elephant Revealed