“You look as though you could use a minute to gather yourself,” my daughter’s piano teacher said to me as I somewhat breathlessly presented my daughter, ten minutes late for her lesson and without the instruction book we were asked to bring.
Indeed I could.
The two of them went off to the practice space while I plopped myself on her couch and exhaled.
As I sat, I felt my frenetic energy pulsing and swirling around me.
Granted, the past couple of hours had been particularly chaotic, as I had to scramble when suddenly plans changed and I found myself needing to be in two places at once (I still haven’t mastered that but I will let you know when I figure it out).
Still, I couldn’t blame my swirling mind entirely on that, for it had been running at a dizzying pace all day. I realized that within each moment I had been anticipating the next…and the next.
Some days are like that, I know…but I seem to struggle with this a lot.
I love the phrase BE HERE NOW.
I want to be present in my life, and yet on most days there are so many tasks strung together that I am often living in a constant state of anticipation. It feels as though if I’m not perpetually poised for the next thing, everything could be derailed…things will be overlooked, or forgotten…or I may even find myself needing to be in two places at once!
Wait a minute…
Hmmm….things still do get overlooked and forgotten…and I do still find myself needing to be in two places at once sometimes.
Sooo….maybe I am not actually helping myself at all by feeding my brain with the never-ending adrenaline rush of the “don’t fuck up” variety.
In fact, maybe if I stopped worrying so much about….oh I don’t know….ALL. THE. THINGS. I might even find myself being far more productive and even…(GASP) happier?
Worth a try.