Category: Love & Loss

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Day 290/365 The Way You Made Us Feel

Today is my father’s birthday. He would have been 72 years old. Everyone I have ever talked to about losing a parent has said that the loss has stayed with them, always. To me it feels like a hole that can never be filled. I can learn not to fall into it so easily. I can even plant flowers around it to make it … Read More Day 290/365 The Way You Made Us Feel

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Day 280/365 The Wind (A Flashback)

Early morning, September 22, 2017… Standing on my front porch with a warm cup of coffee between my palms, I assess the damage. Strong winds from a tropical storm off the coast have been lingering for days. The street is littered with small branches, and leaves torn prematurely from the trees. Trash cans are overturned in the street. “Distress is the wind spirit of … Read More Day 280/365 The Wind (A Flashback)

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Day 278/365 Neither Here Nor There

Harveys are dreamers…literally. We tend to have very vivid dreams. I know I have mentioned this before, but… It’s late, and I am up writing because Beau (my eleven year old) woke me up from a sound sleep by calling out for me, urgently. I went in to check on her and soon realized she was not awake at all. She said in a … Read More Day 278/365 Neither Here Nor There

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Day 274/365 I’ve Gotta Go, I Love You

Sometimes I find it really hard to write the blog because my head is so filled with something that I don’t want to share, either because it’s too mortifying (yeah, there’s stuff in here I don’t share – scary considering all I do share, I know) or because I feel like people are tired of my whining. I really don’t walk around like Eeyore … Read More Day 274/365 I’ve Gotta Go, I Love You

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Day 271/365 It Isn’t The Dying That Matters

It has been a rough couple of days. December 27th was the one year anniversary of Dad’s passing. Well…technically it was January 5th that he died, but he was never conscious again after his collapse on the 27th. I wrote before about how Mom knew he was gone that first day (see here), and thus it has become the day of greatest significance to … Read More Day 271/365 It Isn’t The Dying That Matters

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Day 268/365 May I Sit At Your Table?

Writing is hard to do right now. I could tell you I have been busy, and that I am exhausted at the end of the day…and both of those things would be true, but the real reason is that I am struggling, emotionally. So, why am I reluctant to write about that? I certainly have done so before.  It’s kind of – what this blog … Read More Day 268/365 May I Sit At Your Table?

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Day 267/365 Christmas Tree-age

This past week I have been thinking about the idea of triage…ranking injuries according to severity, to determine which ones take priority in terms of attention. [Sorry for the title, by the way, but Dad always liked a good pun….or even a bad one. I mean really, isn’t “good pun” an oxymoron?] We had about eight months to focus on tending to the wound … Read More Day 267/365 Christmas Tree-age

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Day 265/365 Show Them

My father was easy to love. Sitting here thinking about him, the worst things I can think of to say about him are that he was sometimes absentminded, and that he got lost in his thoughts sometimes (you’d realize halfway through a story that he hadn’t heard a word you’d said). To me, he was perfect. Perfectly imperfect. I know it is easy for … Read More Day 265/365 Show Them

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Day 264/365 Fancy Christmas Anxiety

The holiday season is a time of love and giving, and also, for many of us…a time of heightened anxiety and stress.  I always worry this time of year that I have forgotten to do something or to buy something…that somehow I am going to leave someone I care about feeling overlooked or disappointed. I was thinking the other day, I have no idea how … Read More Day 264/365 Fancy Christmas Anxiety

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Day 258/365 Finding Gratitude (and even inspiration) Within Pain

Throughout my life I have predominantly had a positive outlook. I have always lived with the understanding that everything happens for a reason. I have trusted that there is a purpose to every experience….that we are all being led somewhere…being taught or shown what we need to learn in this life. We can choose to see it that way – or not.  I had … Read More Day 258/365 Finding Gratitude (and even inspiration) Within Pain

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Day 253/365 No Words

Chemotherapy is the oddest thing. My mother didn’t feel the slightest bit sick until they started trying to cure her…until they started pumping her with poison to make her well. I spend time with her almost every day, but sometimes (more and more often) I don’t know what to say… Everything I say seems wrong. If I am happily talking about things I’ve done … Read More Day 253/365 No Words

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Day 251/365 It Is Every Day Work

Right now I am straddling three books. I mean, not literally. That would be weird. I was halfway through one book, and became interested in another, and at the airport the other day I was drawn to a third. Usually I am much more of a one book at a time kind of person, but I am getting a little something from each book…there … Read More Day 251/365 It Is Every Day Work