Category: Family

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Day 324/365 A Warm Pocket

It has been happening bit by bit…this change…  My soon to be twelve-year-old daughter has one tentative foot into her adolescence, and one foot still carefully positioned in the land of childhood. Her dirty converse high tops straddle them both, not entirely belonging in either…existing in the in-between. The metaphor I so readily conjure is that of a butterfly… The green and gold chrysalis … Read More Day 324/365 A Warm Pocket

Day 322/365 This Wild and Precious Life

As many of you know, my family has been taking the same spring trip together for over twenty years. If you have been an avid reader of this blog, you may have, in a sense, taken the trip with us last year. Coming just five months after my father’s death, it was hard. I tearfully joked that I felt we should have purchased an … Read More Day 322/365 This Wild and Precious Life

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Day 301/365 Braving The Rapids

I was twelve years old when I first understood that my mother would do anything for  her children, without hesitation. In fact, she would drown. The creek, which was often completely dry, sometimes offered a gentle current into which we could dip our toes… But on this day, it was raging. I had never seen it that way before, nor have I ever since. … Read More Day 301/365 Braving The Rapids

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Day 294/365 (You Don’t Have To) Do It Yourself (This Time)

When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, she was caught completely by surprise. She had not felt the least bit ill. It was odd explaining to my daughters that their Nana is sick. She certainly didn’t look sick. As time went on, the chemo treatments did what the cancer had not – they made her feel incredibly ill. It’s surreal, watching the nurses don … Read More Day 294/365 (You Don’t Have To) Do It Yourself (This Time)

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Day 287/365 F*ck That

I knew she was feeling better when she sweetly suggested I put a sign outside her door telling the priest making rounds to Fuck Off. I howled laughing. You have to understand, this is a woman who didn’t give herself permission to curse in front of me until I was about 40 years old. I still find her use of the word “fuck” entirely … Read More Day 287/365 F*ck That

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Day 279/365 Recline, then Bloom

Maybe it’s because she’s always hated reclining chairs. My mother has impeccable taste, both in her home and on her person. Owning a reclining chair was, for many years, tantamount to wearing sweatpants… It’s just something she would never do. I’m not really sure how the (very tasteful) recliner ended up in my parents’ den, but I imagine it had something to do with … Read More Day 279/365 Recline, then Bloom

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Day 256/365 How We Got Here

Mom and I are having our weekly date at the infusion center. I thought today I would write about how we ended up here. Maybe it’ll impact someone. In the summer of 2016 I had a mammogram. Shortly afterward I received a letter from Newport Hospital, stating that while nothing had come up on the images, because of my “dense breasts” they could not guarantee … Read More Day 256/365 How We Got Here

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Day 254/365 So Loved

Sometimes all it takes is a little note, carefully tucked in place she will see it, for a woman to remember that no matter what happens in this life, she is incredibly lucky to be so loved. *Little Note (perfect for lunchbox love letters) by E. Frances Paper

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Day 247/365 A Bundle of Gratitude

I have always been adamantly opposed to putting up a Christmas tree in November. This year, though, I really wanted to decorate for Christmas early. “Bring on the shine and the joy!” I thought. We went and picked out a tree yesterday. As a single woman, lugging the tree off of the top of my car and carrying it into the house myself brings … Read More Day 247/365 A Bundle of Gratitude

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Day 245/365 Like the Stars at Noon

“Yet that light is always present, like the stars at noon.” – Peter Matthiessen, “The Snow Leopard” Depression and grief have been frustrating emotions for me. They are hollowing, damp and heavy emotions, and being IN them is hard in and of itself, but for me the hardest part has been knowing these emotions are not my true nature. I know the lightness of which … Read More Day 245/365 Like the Stars at Noon

Day 244/365 Choose Your Own Adventure

“You should come with me,” he said. “I just booked a flight this morning.” It was Eric on the phone, a week ago. (Shockingly) I burst into tears. Being that spontaneous was not something I thought I could do. Not right now. After all, I take my mom to chemo on Fridays. I’d also have to make arrangements for the girls to spend a … Read More Day 244/365 Choose Your Own Adventure

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Day 238/365 The Elephant Revealed

“…and so I start chemo next week,” she said, exhaling. My heart started racing the moment she told me I should sit down. Then it all became a blur of words like “tumors” and “biopsies”.  I struggled to bring this information into focus – to process what she was saying. She has cancer. She’d known for a month. She’d gone to all the tests … Read More Day 238/365 The Elephant Revealed