I have told the story before about how, after my father’s death, I became more keenly aware of a lack of photos of my mother. The reason being, she is an avid and talented photographer, thus is always behind the lens.
When I mentioned this to my mother, she said, “When I die, I will leave behind photos of all of the people, places and things that I loved…as they were through my eyes. Isn’t that better than a bunch of selfies?”
I was so struck by that, as was my daughter, Beau, who heard my mother say it. She still brings it up now and then…remember when Nana said…
My mother’s photography is how she expresses her love of the world…of her world…to all of us.
It is her.
Nine months after her husband’s death, she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. I cannot speak for her, because it begs a question I have been afraid to ask, but…
If my partner…the man I had loved for fifty-five years had just left this Earth, I think I may have wanted to die, too. If the doctors told me that if I did nothing, I would soon be with him…I may have curled up and quietly said, “As it should be; take me too.”
My mother didn’t do that.
She chose to fight for her life…and I know in my heart that she did it just as much for us as she did for herself…perhaps for us even a bit more.
I was there with her every step, but I can never truly know how awful it was for her – still freshly grieving while enduring a heavy course of chemotherapy, followed by major surgery.
I marveled constantly at her strength, and I was frequently overwhelmed by gratitude for all she was willing to endure.
She fought. She struggled.
She did not pick up her camera for eight months. She did not share her view of the world. I think it was just too dark a place.
In late April she was given a clean bill of health. She was (is) considered cancer free.
Florida bound for our annual family trip, she brought her camera.
Once again, she was ready to show us the world through her lens.