The Courage of the Seed

All the buried seeds

crack open in the dark

the instant they surrender

to a process they can’t see. 

This innate surrender allows everything edible and fragrant to break into a life of light that we call spring.

In nature, we are quietly given countless models of how to give ourselves over to what appears dark and hopeless, but which ultimately is an awakening that is beyond all imagining. This moving through the dark into blossom is the threshold to God

As a seed buried in the earth cannot imagine itself as an orchid or a hyacinth, neither can a heart packed with hurt imagine itself loved or at peace. The courage of the seed is that once cracking, it cracks all the way.” – Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

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At the very beginning of Dipped In It, I made reference to feeling within myself a “breaking open.” I did not use this metaphor in the positive context of the above prose…because quite frankly, I didn’t see it that way.

I meant – My life has broken me.

I AM BROKEN.

Now, with some perspective, I can see that yes, I have been broken, but I was never irreparable.

Wait…that isn’t the truth. 

Actually, I am irreparable…because I was never meant to be repaired.

I do not require fixing.

I cannot go back into the seed casing. I cannot curl back into who I once was. I am forever changed…and I hope to break open and to bloom again and again.

No, I do not wish for more hardship nor tragedies in order to further become.

Actually, I believe it is equally the joys in life that have the ability to crack us open.

Even the simplest of things can expand us when we open ourselves up to them…

Waking up in the morning next to someone we truly love, witnessing a fiery sunrise, letting the sound of our children’s laughter spill over us…  

I think when we practice opening our hearts within these beautiful, simple moments, it makes it easier to begin to open them during our painful experiences as well. We can choose to soften when we feel the impulse to tighten.

In opening our hearts to fully FEEL IT ALL…the full spectrum of our humanity, we begin to trust in “the courage of the seed.”

Knowing that the moment we let go…

That is when the light bursts through.

“It is an awakening beyond all imagining.”

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