“So…you failed?” asked Beau.

I had signed up for 40 Days to a Personal Revolution, a program through The Studio at NBX, based on a book by Baron Baptiste.

First of all, I probably had no business signing up for it to begin with – the commitment is 40 consecutive days of yoga and meditation (and some slight diet modifications).

I had only just started my yoga practice back up after…um….perhaps a two year hiatus. Power yoga is no joke, so for someone who has been as sadly lethargic as I have been recently, 40 consecutive days of heated power yoga is a lofty goal.

Nevertheless, I figured I would give it a go.

I was seven days in when, on Wednesday, I decided a practice was not going to happen (and really…for good reason).  After I walked in the door from Jaime’s funeral service, Beau asked me when I was going to go to yoga. (The kids have been really into watching me mark each successful day on the calendar – they are excellent cheerleaders.)

“I’m not,” I said, exhausted.

“So…you failed?”

I felt a quick flash of defensiveness – a need to justify my failure. Then I realized, it is good for them to see me “fail” because for God sakes, it happens a hell of a lot. Why shrink away from that reality?

More to my point…why get defensive? What I should feel is proud…or at the very least, unfazed, because…

 Failure is NOT THE SAME as Quitting.  

I’d like my kids to learn that as soon as possible. We can fail a million times in a million different ways, and it is NOT the same as giving up. In fact, having failed A LOT means you kept trying.

So I looked her in the eye and said, “Yup, I failed…but guess what? I get to try again tomorrow (and the day after that, and the day after that…).

PS I WAS back at it today…which I totally counted as day 8.  I mean, I may fail a lot but I’m no masochist.

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