Day 284/365 Send Down the Bucket

I was scrolling through Facebook the other day and I came across a video titled “Why Depression is All in Your Head”. I hit the volume button to hear what she had to say – this young and perky blonde.

I was prepared to be annoyed.

After all, I have been advocating for quite some time people’s right to feel their feelings – depression, anger, grief, anxiety….all of it.

Get it out.

Do it up.

Work it out.

Not to mention the fact that the title is invalidating to so many people who are going through very real struggles.

Still, as I sat there and listened to her, I had to admit she had some valid points. Honestly nothing that was new or surprising (stop talking about being depressed all the time, eat well, exercise, get fresh air, smile and compliment people, get sleep…).

Maybe I wasn’t as annoyed as I thought I would be because I was ready to hear it.

I am ready to shed this heaviness…I think I already have, to an extent. There’s this piece of me that feels like I am supposed to stay down in the well until my mother beats cancer….until her treatments are over, her surgery over.

How can I feel happiness when she is struggling?

Then I realize – aren’t I more capable of helping to pull her out of the well if I’m not in it too?  If we’re both down there, we’re kind of screwed, aren’t we?

Somebody send down the bucket, for Christ’s sake…

I’m coming up.

I’m coming up for air.

I’m coming up for more talk about what makes me happy, for better eating habits, for more sleep, exercise, and fresh air…for smiling and genuine compliments from the heart.

If you are still in the well…please know that I understand and I am never going to tell you that it is all in your head.

Take the time you need.

When you’re ready, I’ll send down the bucket…and you can climb out too.