I had two different topics in my head today as I was thinking about what to write.
The first was – how do we keep opening our hearts and being vulnerable, when people – and life – can be so unpredictable?
The second was – how do we remain inspired to plan for the future when so much is beyond our control?
As I was emerging from the shower (I get a lot of good thinking done in there) it occurred to me that these were not two different blog posts – but one – because they have a strong common thread.
The common thread is that the answer to both questions is the same –
We have to keep believing that it is worthwhile….to live, to love, to plan…
Recently I wrote about how many of us find ourselves in situations we had never anticipated….living through things we never saw coming…or as my friend described it, falling into a hole we never knew was there.
I wrote about how we cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it (a common bit of advice in the self-help world). Of course this is so very true, so I have been practicing that…observing my reactions, and trying to respond in the most compassionate and reasonable way I can. (I have not perfected this, by any means, but I am working on it.)
The unexpected is to be expected – so we should not become fixated on things following a predictable course…following our plan. We must learn to go with the flow, adjust, bend…sometimes fall apart and then piece ourselves back together again.
That is a good thing to understand, theoretically, but when life throws a lot of surprises at us over a short period of time, we may become exhausted. We may also become apathetic. Isn’t it easier not to try, or not to care?
I think for me, I have just become tired. I have been expending so much energy trying to stay afloat. I am reminded of a verse by a favorite poet of mine, Tyler Knott Gregson…
I realize that I used to feel full of optimism.
I was inspired…
By family, by work, by love, by LIFE…and the events of the last year or so have left me so exhausted that I have ceased to feel that optimism.
I have lost it…and I want it back.
We are presently living through the darkest days of the year…but each day brings us more and more light…
More and more lightness.
God, I need more lightness….don’t you?
I don’t want to spend so much time fighting off the darkness that I cease to welcome in the light.
Light It Up.