Day 276/365 I Need A Hero

I’ve had some technical difficulties lately.

About a week and a half ago I had some kind of virus, and during that time I had to drag myself out of bed one day to deal with a heating issue at work (we were closed, but it was a potential emergency given the freezing temperatures). The next day I woke up to discover I had no propane (despite being on automatically delivery), and it was 44 degrees in my house. The day after that, a pipe froze and I had to evacuate my house so my landlord could heat the crawl space beneath the house with a heater which emits toxic fumes.

This week we had a “bomb cyclone” storm that dumped about a foot of snow at my house, and I realized that I had to find someone to plow my street. It’s a private road, therefore the municipal plows won’t do it.  Usually one of my neighbors coordinates the plow, and I offer her some money. This time she was away, which I didn’t realize until I woke up and saw that my street was completely untouched.

The girls and I didn’t have anywhere to be (school and work were cancelled) but I did get a call from the propane delivery company, saying they could not get to my house. Having run out the week before, I knew I didn’t want to risk that again. Also, I worried about having to get out in an emergency, and that in an emergency, we would be hard to get to, as well.

It was surprisingly difficult to get someone to plow. No one seemed to want the challenge of plowing a road they’d never seen before (therefore not knowing where the road ends and yards begin).

Finally I had someone agree to come and look at it. Seeing the street, he said he should charge me $500 to plow it. When that was met with a shocked silence, he told me he could see I was in a pinch, and that he would do it for $300.

I had just a moment to decide whether to say yes to this offer, or to risk not being able to find someone else to come (it was 3pm, I had been trying all day). I said fine, and I watched as it took him all of ten minutes to plow the street. When he came to the door, he admitted it was easier than he thought, and offered to charge me $250.  I paid him, all the while wondering if the initial suggestion of $500 was a strategy to make me feel as though I had gotten a deal.

(I didn’t feel as though I had gotten a deal).

Next, I had to shovel my walk (I know, cue the violin). When I was done with that, I realized I had to shovel a path around the side of my house for the propane delivery, and to be able to get my trash and recycling bins out.  All the while, I was cursing.


It was all too much – this being responsible for everything. This being-the-single-head-of-the-household business.

Suddenly, my head was filled with Bonnie Tyler’s voice singing, “I need a hero!

Do you know that song from the eighties classic “Footloose”? Seriously I had not heard or thought of that song in decades, and the fact that it popped into my head at the moment cracked me up.  I literally laughed out loud.

Really, Bethany?

Just shovel the goddam walkway.

Then get your butt in the car and drive out to work to make sure everything is okay over there as well, before the temperature drops to -4 tonight.

Be a grown up.

So, anyway….to be honest I couldn’t remember whether the song was from Footloose or Top Gun, and I just had to look it up.

You need watch the video, because it is Amazing.

A few talking points before you view it….

I don’t know Bonnie personally, but I find it hard to believe that she would just drop to her knees, singing for a white knight, while her house is on fire (of course, it is a bit of a shit hole, so maybe she’s just counting on a good insurance payout so she can start fresh and put in that tub she always wanted).

If Bonnie’s house was really on fire, I would think her girlfriends would stop dancing and help her put the fire out, wouldn’t they?

Did they have glow in the dark lassos in the Olden Days?

Are those men in black playing duck-duck-goose with Bonnie?

I don’t understand…who is flying?

Do you mean to tell me that the guy in the white scared away those three other dudes?

Were the men in black armed only with their glow in the dark lassos? Even so…really? The white gloves…they were scary?

I am pretty sure Bonnie could have kicked all their asses herself. She probably wouldn’t have even messed up her hair (all that hair spray would be admittedly hard to disrupt – and where did she get all that product, by the way?).

Who looked at Bonnie Tyler and thought – Old Timey Western?

Finally, my last question (for now?) – Is the Grand Canyon a good place to find available men? Why didn’t anyone tell me?

Click here to watch it on youtube.

Please don’t leave me alone to ponder these burning questions.