My life, especially lately, has not left a lot of space for loneliness.
Things have been so busy – my kids, my work, trying to be there for my mom, trying to stay connected with friends and family…it’s busy.
I am also the type of person who really needs space and time alone to recharge.
So what is left over for romance, anyway?
Emotionally and energetically I feel I have little to spare,
I feel it…
That missing piece.
That person I’d crawl into bed with at night.
That person I’d laugh (or cry) with about the events of the day.
That person who would instinctively know that sometimes what I need is to say nothing at all…
To just be,
I read a blog a while back claiming the sexiest three words a woman could hear from her partner are “I got this.”
I have to admit that expression kind of bugs me (grammatically it seems wrong – shouldn’t it be – I’ve got this? Not as catchy?).
To the point – I loved the premise…that the most wonderful thing a man can offer a woman is just having her back…letting her know that he –
- Understands what she needs
- Wants to help
- Doesn’t need to be asked
It has been four years that I have been a single woman (post marriage), though even for a while before that, I had begun to understand that I was on my own.
I have gotten very comfortable taking care of myself…
Maybe too comfortable.
Last month I threw myself a birthday party. (It was fantastic, by the way.)
About a week before the party, one of my friends called to tell me she would like to get me a birthday cake.
I told her I had already ordered one.
“You ordered your own cake?!” she asked, horrified.
Well….yes. I figured I could either order my own cake, or I could risk being disappointed that no one ordered one for me. (Plus, I know what kind I like and from where, obviously.)
Why risk it?
And therein might be the problem with letting go and allowing someone else to ever have the opportunity to tell me…
I got this.