I’m afraid I have embarked upon a dark path…

We have all experienced the creepiness of internet shopping + Facebook. I am referring to that “phenomenon” in which that pair of shoes you were looking at on the Zappos site suddenly appear as an ad on your Facebook page.  “Big Brother” strikes again.  Facebook is in cahoots (I love that word, don’t you?) with retailers, selling ads on your page to those who match up with your interests.

They’re usually spot on with their “suggestions” of things one might like. Which is why it was a bit disturbing when I saw their latest targeted ad on my Facebook page –

“What is that,” you say?

“Is that….rice?”

Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

Nope, not rice.

Maggots.

Those are maggots…forever preserved in a heart shaped necklace.

There is a market for these necklaces, you guys. A hot one. In fact, so much so that there are only 2 left! (Though to be fair we don’t know how many there were to begin with).

792 Etsy shoppers have marked it as a favorite.

Curiosity got the better of me and I pursued the shop further.

Have you ever wondered, “Can I forever hold my deceased parakeet close to my heart?

Literally?

Have you ever lamented the sheer volume of doll-baby heads in our landfills, and wondered, “Couldn’t we reuse those?”

I know, who hasn’t been burdened with those very questions?

Well, now you can answer to both with a resounding “YES!”

I present to you –

img_4575

It’s a necklace. A taxidermied parakeet and doll-baby head necklace.

You’re welcome.

Don’t worry, the baby head is ethically sourced. (Oh wait, maybe they meant the parakeet.)

I love creative people. I love that artistic expression is limitless, and that we all have varying tastes. That’s what keeps life – especially fashion –  interesting.

I also know that these preserved maggot and taxidermied parakeet & baby head necklaces are not for me.

They are for many people, apparently (at least 792 of them!) but I am not one of those people. Perhaps you are. That’s totally cool.

Perhaps you’d find my jewelry tastes to be sadly uninspired. (Pearls on her wedding day…was she being ironic?)

The question remains, why did Facebook think this wearable art would be up my alley?

I did notice that everything on this Etsy page is called “Love Letters to the Dead”. Perhaps, my posts and sharings from this year have been macabre enough for me to be flagged as a wearer of maggots. 

I can own that.

The problem is, now that I have actually clicked on all of these things on Etsy, Facebook is going to be targeting me for this stuff more and more.

They’re all, “Ohhh, she was into those Silver Kissing Mummified Mice Pups!” (I’ve spared you the photo, but imagine a heart shaped necklace of Han Solo frozen in carbonite.  Except, instead of Harrison Ford, it’s….well, mouse embryo.)

Again, you’re welcome.

Perhaps I have just helped you to check that last “hard to buy for” loved one off your Christmas list.

Unfortunately, I have also opened up the advertising gates of hell….

And I am afraid.

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