Give yourself time, they say.
You are not promised any time, they (also) say.
Sometimes I get really turned around listening to “self help” advice. Is it okay to give myself time to go inward and grieve? Or am I wasting precious time doing so; time of which I am not promised an infinite amount?
Even here on this blog…some days I will tell you that wallowing is a worthy and necessary indulgence. Other days I will tell you that you may regret wallowing because you may miss out on something really important while you are focusing on the negative aspects of your life.
(You should probably stop taking advice from me…clearly I am a bit unstable).
The truth is I think both can be true. We can wallow, and doing so we can prepare to begin anew.
Just as the caterpillar forms a cocoon in order to begin her metamorphosis into a beautiful butterfly, when we go inward and grieve (wallow) we have the opportunity to then emerge transformed.
It may appear to the onlooker that nothing is happening inside that cocoon (or maybe it appears that what is happening is naps and binge watching Netflix with lots of wine & chocolate), but in reality, a rebirth is taking place.
Within that safe space – that cocoon – we can heal. We are given the capacity to become more beautiful and free than we ever imagined.
It’s important not to get trapped there, in the cocoon.
It was never meant to sustain us.
When our vibrant colors begin to bleed through…when our newfound wings begin to feel cramped…
My dear, it’s time to break free.