One of the qualities I appreciate most about myself is vulnerability. It is also the quality that causes me the most emotional disharmony within myself.

It is both my superpower and my kryptonite.

I would define vulnerability as a willingness to authentically share one’s thoughts and feelings.

When I risk being seen as I really am; when I am honest about how I really feel and what I really want…I feel empowered. When I allow myself to be completely vulnerable to others…sometimes I even feel a high. 

The shadow side of it is…

Sometimes, after that barefoot rush of vulnerability…I feel foolish…or even ashamed. There’s nowhere to hide once I’ve pulled back the curtain.

Did I go too far?

Did I reveal too much?

Am I unlovable?

These dual edges of vulnerability are challenging…and also, fascinating. I aspire to get to a place from which I can be and say whatever I want, and never feel the sting of insecurity.

OZ, perhaps? Shall I ask the wizard for vulnerability without remorse?

{My Dear, you had the power all along…}

Oh, to be able to stand in my vulnerability and to have the strength to not hold my breath in anticipation of the repercussions, reactions, and self-doubt.

To place my offering of truth before you and to know that it is worthy.

Period.

I recognize this is hard work. Perhaps the hardest work. For the actual definition of vulnerability is this….

1 : easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally, or emotionally

2 : open to attack, harm, or damage

Who would choose this as a way to exist in the world?

No wonder I’m exhausted.

Here’s the truth…

The reason it is so hard to be authentically vulnerable is because it is terrifying. There’s no doubt that is why I get a high from it – like cliff jumping or sky diving – it feels dangerous to be honest…to put myself out there and to risk that I will be rejected.

BUT…

The freedom in that sweet spot of truth is powerful, and addicting…despite the risks.

Because…

That is where we truly connect…within our center of vulnerability…within our hearts.

The more we reveal our true selves, the more we understand each other.

It really is that simple.

With special thanks to Monica Rodgers, who always helps me see the light when I feel overwhelmed by the shadows, and for always seeing the best in me, especially when I cannot.

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