Day 207/365 If Not Now, When? {Later, That’s When}

“Hey, it’s love month, isn’t it?” my friend, Greg, said to me the other day.

I had no idea what he meant by that (I know I’ve been scattered lately, but I still know it is October, not February).  It was on the tip of my tongue to correct him and say, “Actually, I believe it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month,” when I realized what he meant.

Two years ago, I had my astrological chart read by Elizabeth Spring. At the time I had been divorced for two years, and I was very keen on the idea of romance.

When Elizabeth told me (back in September of 2015) that she thought my next opportinuty for a significant relationship would be in the fall of 2017, I was not exactly thrilled. Two years seemed like an awfully long wait.

Little did I know how incredibly full the next two years would be.

A lot can change in two years. Some days it feels as though everything has changed.

As for her prediction, I don’t feel as though I am open, or ready, right now to let a relationship come into focus. I am taking good care of the people that matter most to me. I would not want it any other way. It fills my heart and my hours…and at the end of the day, I am tired. I don’t have the time, nor the heart space for any new demands to be made upon either.

Tonight, for example, I hadn’t realized how bone tired I was until I got into a hot bath.  I lay there until the water turned cold, shivering, but too tired to heave myself out.

“Love month. That doesn’t seem likely now, does it?” I smirked. “Anyway, I’m not ready. I don’t have anything to give right now,” I said, almost defensively….

{Don’t make me do it! I seemed to scream inside.}

“Do you know what Michelle [his wife] said when I told her I wasn’t sure I was ready to become a father?” he asked.

“Um…I’m pregnant?” I joked.

“Ha, no! She told me, ‘You’ll never feel completely ready. Nobody does. So, guess what, we’re doing this!

He added, “She was right, of course.” (They now have three children).


“So…Get ready, it’s LOVE MONTH.  I can feel it!”


It isn’t that I don’t believe in love. I LOVE love, actually.

Still, I’d prefer to let this particular love month pass me by…stars aligned or not.

I know there will be other opportunities.

Now, can someone please inform all the men who have been beating down my door this month? 

Go away – you’ve been misinformed!