The other day I ran into my dad’s former administrative assistant at the grocery store. She worked for him for twenty years – most of her adult life (she isn’t old!). He loved her. We spoke for just a few minutes. At the end of our conversation, she said, “I still really miss your dad.” I’m not even sure what I said in response…whether I said, “Me too” or “I know” or if I just nodded. I know that when I turned away, I started to cry….but I loved that she shared that. It meant a lot to me.
This afternoon I attended a meeting for an organization for which my dad acted as President for many years. One of his dear friends got emotional as he mentioned my dad’s passing and suggested that my brother take my dad’s place as President. After the meeting, he apologized to me for getting choked up. “He was a good friend, and it was just…so sudden.”
I just want to say…don’t ever be afraid to express your love and/or feelings of loss, over someone dear to you, to their family. I so appreciate hearing that other people miss my dad, and loved him…when others become emotional expressing that to me, I feel like my heart expands. I am so grateful to have had a father who touched so many people so deeply.
The thing is, people who have lost a loved one recently are thinking about them all the time anyway – you are never going to make them more sad by sharing your feelings. You are not going to remind them of their loss by bringing it up – believe me, they remember.
It is actually a welcome, and lovely, gesture when someone expresses their feelings.
Don’t be afraid to share the loss, and the love.