Day 79/365 Weeding Your Garden

“You’re just weeding your garden,” she said, somewhat matter-of-factly.  Ten years older than me, my boss was a successful entrepreneur…and an avid gardener.

I was twenty-six years old and heavy into the throes of a quarter-life crisis.

I felt entirely extraneous at my job as an administrative assistant (like little more than a warm body). I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew this wasn’t it. I thought about going to graduate school for writing, but frankly I was not all that driven – and I was in debt.

I had moved out to Colorado, then back to the East coast again. When I got back, many of my friends were coupled up, and others with whom I had once been close, I was having trouble connecting.

I felt lost.

Sitting on my porch this morning,  I was looking out at the window box I installed and planted last weekend, when this conversation from twenty years ago ran through my mind.

“What do you mean by that?” I had asked.

She explained that it just needs to be done, once in a while…the weeding.

This is what she meant –

You pull out things you may have planted that are no longer working for you – a job or a relationship, perhaps.

You pull out things that grew without your permission or awareness – perhaps fear, resentment, jealousy, anger...

You give the things you want more room to grow and flourish – a career, friendships, love…

You plant new things – hope, faith…

Back to today on my porch, I had chosen plants specifically to attract hummingbirds....and it was working! I had just had my first porch-front hummingbird visitor.

In this case I had arranged my garden – literally – for what I wanted to bring forthbut it applies metaphorically to life as well, right? The energy that you root yourself in, and cultivate, attracts what you intend it to attract. I believe fully that when you send love and gratitude out into the world, you attract good things.

All good things?

Nope. Not possible.

But, the more you focus on the good, the more good you see, right?

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the Law of Attraction and how I hate it. (Ruefully, I wonder how that attitude is serving me – um, not so well thank you very much), but I think we are entitled to a little anger toward Universal forces when “bad things happen to good people.”

Now, before you call me a hypocrite I’m going to remind you that grief is some complicated shit – like putting your heart and brain and guts in a blender.  Everything gets churned up and it takes time for things to settle – before you can even see straight.

So, yes, the Law of Attraction – here’s how it works – if you operate at a frequency of gratitude and joy, good things will come…you will attract more things about which to feel grateful and joyful.

If you’re skeptical, look at it this way – it’s like that joke about what will happen if we discover Global Warming doesn’t exist – and we’ve foolishly done all of these things to protect the planet for no reason! What if The Law of Attraction isn’t real and we foolishly walked around being grateful and joyful for no reason!? The horror!


Still, when you’re walking around trying to be all “light and love” skipping down the highway of life, and SPLAT! a Mack truck plows you down, you get pissed.

It’s okay to feel how you feel – depressed, angry, resentful, sad…Don’t ever let anyone tell you it’s not.  You are entitled to your feelings. They are your weeds and you can sit in them as long as you damn well need to…


When you’re ready (and nobody will know when that is, but YOU)…the weeding feels really good. In my mind I imagine myself, knees in the garden, pulling the weeds out and hurling them over my shoulder, dirt flying through the air. I begin noticing the flowers again – so many flowers – and they are so beautiful.

The weeds won’t ever stop trying to plant themselves in my garden, and I’m inevitably going to plant some things that just don’t work out. Weeding one’s garden is not a one time project. Sometimes I will feel overwhelmed. I’m allowed to be.

However, I know, I know – the more I cultivate love and gratitude – the more I focus on the flowers – the better I will feel in my own garden…

And then, blessings will arrive.


Photo by Betty Lou Harvey

{Editor’s Note – during the hour it took me to write this, I was visited by FOUR hummingbirds! Okay, maybe it was the same one four times, whatever.  I attracted what I wanted, is my point.}

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