I’ve been a bit down and out with a cold the past three days. Last night some of my favorites got together, sans children. I knew it was going to be a great time and I had been looking forward to it all week. I also knew I wasn’t feeling so hot. There was a time when I’d have gone anyway – stayed up late and drank too much (and had an absolute blast, no doubt). Today I’d still have had a cold, and a hangover.
Last night I said no because I wasn’t physically feeling well, but I have said no a lot lately – to social invitations, volunteering, and in general, to adding more to my plate. I remember a similar, but different, feeling of self imposed isolation during the mourning period after my marriage ended. For me, the quiet is an important part of healing – a warm bath and an early bedtime held more appeal than any opportunity to interact with others. At the same time, I so appreciated friends and family who continued to ask to spend time with me, and who never took it personally when I said no, even repeatedly.
That last bit is important. Remember, it’s not about you.
I think I’ve moved past, for now, the period of shrugging off invitations because I’m depressed. I just want to say to anyone who knows someone going through a rough patch or a full on depression – keep the invitations coming, gently. They want to feel loved, and missed, even if they don’t want company.
Fortunately, I’ve been provided with video clips from last night’s festivities via text message, so I can vicariously enjoy the hilarity that ensued in my absence. It’s taking every ounce of restraint not to post them here. They wouldn’t disappoint. My people are really funny…and really hungover today.