Day 31/365 Death’s Paradox

Yesterday (Easter) was our first holiday without dad. None of us are super religious, but still it was a day when we would have all been together (and we were, but we were all feeling the big void left by dad).

img_2395In the early morning I donned his hat and ventured out into our “church” (aka the woods). It was a glorious morning, and he would have loved being outside.  I’m not going to lie – it was really emotional for me.

I got to thinking about the brutiful (brutal + beautiful) paradox that those we’ve lost can be both nowhere, and everywhere, all at once.  We are left to painfully miss someone who never actually  leaves us.

He was there as my mother poured herself coffee and watched the birds outside her kitchen window.

He was there as his grandchildren tore into their chocolate rabbits.

He was there with me in the woods.

He was there as we all gathered for a meal.

He is everywhere, and nowhere.

We miss him so much.

“Papa Bill Egg” by Max, age 7  (Papa was a very good egg)