There are magic moments.
For me, one of those moments is watching my children fall asleep. I don’t mean that to be funny, but believe me, I completely understand why you’d think I do.
There have been many nights, especially when they were very young, that the moment sleep overtook them felt more like a (very, very) hard won victory than any sort of magic.
I remember well a time when there existed only precious few waking hours each night in which I felt like an autonomous human being. Every moment they stayed awake past their bedtime felt like it was stolen from me.
And even now, there are nights I’m too tired. Too busy. Too…just too.
Now that I am keenly aware that I’m on the precipice of a time when they’ll no longer ask me to lay beside them in their beds,
Now that I’ve had such a visceral reminder of life’s impermanence,
More often, I stay present to notice.
Sleepy eyes slowly losing focus; lids becoming heavier and heavier as their thick, beautiful lashes finally rest. Deep, peaceful breathing.
It’s like watching them slip into another world.
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