“Equal rights for others does not mean less rights for you. It’s not PIE.”
This is a quote that has been circulating lately online, and I have been thinking about how it applies to compassion. I used to imagine that if I expressed how I was really feeling, people would think, “Why does she think her pain is so much bigger than everyone else’s? Doesn’t she know that I’m suffering too? Can’t she see that so-and-so has it so much worse than she does?”
I now recognize this largely as projection on my part. I felt uncomfortable fully owning and expressing my own grief, because I was (and am) fully aware that there are so many people suffering greater tragedies than I am.
Yet to me, my own grief is enormous. And you know what? I’m learning that that’s okay. I’m allowed to feel this grief fully. Feeling one’s own pain deeply does not make a person blind and deaf to the suffering of others. In fact, I believe it can open up a reserve of compassion like nothing else…because pain recognizes pain.
Just as love can be infinite, so can compassion.
Offering myself a big serving of self-compassion does not mean I have less to offer to others.
It’s not PIE.
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